"Tony's Memorial Service"
TONY'S MEMORIAL SERVICE
"THE FOLLOWING ARE FROM TONY'S MEMORIAL SERVICE"
"A POEM READ BY HIS SISTER LIZ"
Like the wind that ran hollow
and stirred through the dead
like the wind that runs the same
through the memories in my head
born of innocence so long ago
was the wind ran so true
through my agony and my pain
at the memories of you.
Of the person who's now long gone
of whom I think of everyday
comes the memories and the pictures
of the wind that would not stay.
In the uselessness and futility
of times that seem like lies
echoes the song of one single wind
whose presence refuses to die.
"I WROTE THIS, WHICH MY SON JAMES READ"
I was the first person to know Tony. The first to feel Tony, a feeling I will never forget.
Tony's life has been mostly a struggle for him. He's been so lost, but I think he was able to find more of himself this past year. He apparently needed other things to make him happy. I'm sad that our love was not enough. This past year we were finally able to put closure on his tortured, lost childhood.
I loved my Tony and he knew it! Tony loved his Mom and I knew it! We will always feel an emptiness inside our hearts. But we will never forget his smile or his life.
"TONY WROTE THIS LETTER TO MY DAD, WHICH HE READ"(We wanted everyone to hear his own words about how he felt about himself)
Hello, I just got off the phone with you. I needed to write because there are a thousand things I can't say to anyone. I can write them though. All this Stuff. There's so much crap I can't do. It's not that. I've tried and most of the time I feel I can't do it. I have very low self confidence and that interferes with just about everything I try to do and give up and don't even give things a chance.
Now I love my Mother a lot and everyone in my family and all the people I know that care about me and the people that have tried to help me in the present and past. But, you know...they don't know anything about me except for the fact that I don't do things I need to do. I would really like to be shut off from the whole world and be all alone. But what would I have? Right, nothing. I have a very bad problem associating with others on their level. It is because, any given second I get extremely mad and I have a very bad temper and I hold it in. And I don't know how to deal with it.
I don't know what to do about it. i really don't know to do about anything. There are so many things I want to do. But I haven't a clue. I don't know how this sounds to you. But I don't know what to say. I can't hold a job. I can't do anything because I feel a lot of it is worthless. When you said on the phone that I have done nothing but been an idoit. I didn't want to talk to you again. That's what I do. I shut things, peoples and places. I shut them off. Because they or it make made me feel like shit or made me mad about something completely ridiculous. But I am not gonna shut you off. You are telling me things and I'm the one who needs to listen to people right now. If I keep shutting things off. I'm not, definitely not going to get anywhere.
I'm not sure, I don't want this to sound the way most would interpret it, so I can't write anymore.
Take care, Tony
"TONY WROTE THIS LETTER TO HIS GIRLFRIEND"(she read this so everyone could see what a senstive and loving young man Tony had become"
Alright. Here I am again...writing you at 2:30am Friday mornin'. Kris I'd love to see you this weekend. Hmmmmmm. I'll have to see what's happenin when I talk to you tomorrow evenin', eh!? Anyway it was great to hear your voice. I'm gettin a lil' tired but, I'll finish this letter. Ok. I'm listenin' to "Brutal Truth". You might like them. Kris I can't stop stop thinkin' about you. You are such a beautiful woman. I could neet no other as smart and beautiful (Yes, again) and very thoughtful and I could go on and on but you are all of that and so much more that anybody and I really think you need to be not so hard on yourself. You are great, you are nowhere towards failing Kristen. You have as much time and effort and will and conquered as much as those great people in the world have. You know what I'm saying, right. C'MOM YOU! KRIS, KRIS, KRIS: everything about you that you think is bad, or any remarks about your apppearnace should be nothing but confidence in you beautiful self. KRIS is very unique. I get so insane when I think about you. I feel like I need to hld you nonstop to be close and our chest pressed together. In my chest is where I feel that undivided love for you. Yes, I'm so in Love w/you. I'm sorry, I can't take it back. I won't. Kris, you call it "obsession", Nooooo. But so, what you've gotta be a gift. The most out-standing of all in the sorld to be obsessed with, eh! Yes! And incomparable. I wish things were a lot easier only you. You can survive Kris. Things you work at are not - supposed to just go bad, don't think that are fu----' things up. You are so much more. I'm goin' off on this letter. You agree, and everything I've said in this letter is absolutely the facts. I hope you have a nice day, you brighten my days when you are here, You should brighten yours as you can othere w/your beauty and ability. Alright, I don't ever want to stop talkin' to you, huggin you, being kisssed by you, kissing your lips. Tasting yoiur lips. I close my eyes and long to feel you next to me. Oh, Kris. I'm gonna go to sleep, I love you this many and millions more. Tony
( Here is where Tony drew a pair hands to he loved here this much, something we used to do when he was a child.)
ANTHONY (TONY) JAMES TERRONI II
of 658A Congress Street, Portland
Tony died Saturday of an accidential overdose of heroin
He attended Bonny Eagle Schools.
He worked in various Portland restaurants.
He had a special smile and a witty sense of humor
He was one of the most sensitive people you could ever know.
He loved to cook in his own unique style.
And, oh waht a great coffee lover. (Java?)
He was also extremely gifted artistically.
Mother: Frances T. (Ledue) Terroni (Portland)
Father: Anthony J. Terroni (Portland)
Stepmother: Lisa D. Terroni(N. Waterboro)
Sister: Elizabeth A. Terroni-20
Brothers: James R. Terroni-18, Allen F. Terroni-8
Grandparents: Herbert A. Ledue(Leominster, MA), Frances T. Nixon(Portland)
Deceased Grandparents:Florence Aliberti and Rinaldo Terroni
Several Aunts and Uncles and Cousins and many, many special friends.